He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
