you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
