I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
