We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
