I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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