I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
