Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
