.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
