That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She's the barista slut.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
