My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
