There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
