My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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