Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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