Kareoke will never be a sober sport
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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