Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
