what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
