well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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