I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
