I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
