were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
