it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Small penises have feelings too.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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