Sry I called you an 8
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
