dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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