So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
