I love black thongs
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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