so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
