i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
