All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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