I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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