I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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