If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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