very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
