No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
