yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
