I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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