You don't have asthma, your pregnant
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
