i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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