How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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