Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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