Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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