Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
