Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
