I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
