Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
