Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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