so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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