Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
