i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How external is "for external use only"?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
