Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
