and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it glows. i had to have it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You are a genius and a whore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
