that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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